My House Is Quiet - Too Quiet!

Do you dream of the moment when you can have a bath undisturbed, or go out somewhere (anywhere, you're not fussy!) without taking an hour to get everyone into the car? That time has come... you've got a weekend to yourself and... Instead, you can't decide what to do!

You want to make the most of it because, WOW, you don't get these so it's more important you make great choices now than ever!

You've waited so long for free time, you're not even sure what to do with free time now...


You decide, "I know I'll phone some friends and see what they're up to." Ah, reality hits; they've all got their own lives and you feel like the spare wheel.

You then think, "I know... I'll go and do the errands that I've been meaning to do for ages now." As you're racing around, what usually takes you 4 hours to get through is all over and done with in 45 minutes flat... and now what?

Mmmm... eventually you pluck up the courage to go and see a movie on your own. Gulp! You've scoffed the thought of it for years and yet you really get it now! So, you've lost yourself in a movie and managed to successfully kill a couple of hours. As you walk out the cinema doors, you feel quite awkward as you realise you've got no one to even talk about it with right now...

Yes, you're single... and yet with so much responsibility, it really doesn't count as the single you remember it to be.

And, what's worse, you've still got another two nights before the kids are home... what do you do?

I'm about to show you some techniques that really work to avoid you feeling completely overwhelmed by having 'nothing to do'.

I'll help you start discovering your passions again, and I'll help you become more confident in what it is YOU actually want to do!

Throughout the Program, I'll help you create rituals for yourself where you feel nourished and energised during your weekends without your children, so you're able to give them more when you've got time with them.

I'll spend the time with you to help you become comfortable with yourself - alone - and with friends. That you'll start enjoying adult time.

You'll learn how to stop pining, and what to do in its place that's not planning either.

Let's start with the first principle that applies here - and yet can be so hard to do!

We'll start with making the most of our time with and without our children.

As we started with, we have dreamed of having time to ourselves, but when it actually turns up, it's not as much fun as we'd imagined...

Very often, we've been giving to everyone else for so long we've forgotten what we enjoy, so when we're confronted with the option of choosing, without restrictions around us... it can feel very overwhelming!

It's almost too scary (and upsetting!) to have to admit that we can't remember what we really like any longer. The longer you've been serving your family, the harder this is to reclaim. Yet the longer you've been serving your family, the more important it is that you do reclaim this - and a good reason to do this is so you can live a more full example of who you are to your children.

Here's something really simple - and powerful to help... allow yourself to experiment. You're allowed to just try something out and if you decide you don't really enjoy that as much as you thought you might, that's great. Now you know!

Stop trying to get it ALL RIGHT - stop trying to please yourself so much. Allow yourself to feel that what you thought would be really great, didn't feel that wonderful.

If you'd dreamt of spending a few hours at a beauticians spa, and once you've spent the money, had the treatments, all you're feeling now is "Ah, nice but not great!", then know that next time, that's not really important and try something else.

It may take you a few months of trying things in your Child-Free-Weekends before you find something that can become part of your time-out ritual.

Creating a ritual for yourself is delicious. It gives you the opportunity to savour each moment without having to constantly be thinking of what's next...

We become so used to keeping things moving for you to slow down long enough to just relax and soak in a bath with candles, music and a long cold refreshing drink in hand... it's almost like sacrilege!

It's good for you to have a few things that become rituals so you don't feel that you have to have everything planned out, but you are also not at a loose end.

If you can start experimenting so you can build a ritual for yourself, you'll also allow flexibility to develop within this so you can include the unexpected invites that are bound to pop up.

It's also very encouraging for your friends and family to know you can enjoy having time on your own. It's very easy at times like this to 'burn out' your friends by needing them.

Friends love being around friends who want them - not need. There's quite a difference. While it's important to have great support during the major transitional phases that you go through, it's really good for you to enjoy your own company too.

* If you feel a little timid in your house alone, find creative solutions to the fear.
* If you avoid eating when the children are not at home, plan your meals in advance - even cook double and freeze so it's easy.
* If you have a tendency to become quite emotional, avoid alcohol. It's not the answer regardless of its short-term lubricating benefits.
* If you end in tears every time you watch movies, be selective what types of movies you'll get out and who you'll watch them with.
* Start making positive choices for yourself that leave you feeling lighter, brighter, and more hopeful of your future.

Most of all, when the children arrive home, don't tell them how much you've missed them. They need to know you're comfortable with and without them. It's important for them not to have to worry about you missing them when they're with your Ex. They want you to be okay too.

I really encourage you to take up my invitation to post a comment below or email me with your suggestions, ideas, or comments about what you've just read.

So many people have watched their lives bloom after getting help to become comfortable with a quiet home - I know YOU can too!

As I already mentioned, there's a lot more on this topic so I encourage you to enroll in my 'Routines That Rock' program where you'll gain more answers in greater detail.
Start today and receive the following:

* A series of videos with me walking you through each aspect of routines and making them work with your children and Ex.
* Worksheets to help you sort out what the best routine is for your family.
* A checklist to avoid items forgotten at handovers.
* And you get to ask me your routine-related questions throughout the program.

These are real answers to your Routine problems - and they can be solved today.

Had enough of feeling alone in your tears and heartache?

You only get to raise your children once - don't leave it to chance - your kids are worth it!

Warmest :o)

Jill Darcey.

*** Parenting with an Ex and struggling with Routines? What happens if I don't want to share my children with the Ex, especially because I don't trust them?! I can solve this problem for you in my Routines that Rock program!

*** Special Free Report Is it possible, that no matter how or why your marriage failed, the SECRET to finally getting on with your Ex could be... EASY? The Answer is 'YES!' Grab your free copy of Top 10 Co-Parenting Mistakes

*** Jill Darcey (Author, Parent, Founder & Speaker), a mother of three; thousands of hours in counseling and coaching; and more than a decade of Complex Family parenting. Jill has both experience and wisdom and has learned a lot of what does and doesn't work - and some of it the hard way!